Depressed & Mad

It has been a hell of a month, nothing is working for me and I just want to throw and beat shit.

List of things that have gone stray to hell:

• job
• school application
• friendship/love interest
• diet
• anime list
• vacations in Mexico city.
• my blog and pictures

and some other shit that I don't want to fcking remember. The thing that pisses me of at the moment is that my online friend; who happens to be the guy I like...BLOCK ME ON FB CHAT
Since god knows when, but I barely find out today. It sucks balls bc I feel ridiculously stupid for not noticing it before. Not only did I trust him last week, when I was about to shot myself and drown my sorrows in alcohol and told him how shitty I felt. BUT, this week he was the one been depress and shit. Gio wanting to return the favor and been supportive has been awake all fcking week online till I can't distinguish morning from night, trying to catch him online and to be there for him.

I am trying to have some fcking vacations here, but rly can't enjoy them bc I  keep thinking about him. To find out TODAY that he block me from fb chat!! so, yeah...who feels shitty now? ME!!! why couldn't he just say he doesn't feel like talking to me. Am I annoying?? if I have been sending a message on fb everyday is bc I fcking care!!! yes, I ask what is wrong bc I thought he really trust me as much as he declares he does, to find out that my concern is an annoyance to him...and obviously, he really doesn't need me. If you don't need me, why are u been so fcking emo?? I don't get you, I don't get wtf men are thinking about.

Not only did I find this out, but my old crush happens to be VERY active after I deleted him from my fb friends...AND YES I am adding him back, lets see if he does add me back...sounding like revenge on my current crush?? yeah, it is...at least I get to stare at smexy pictures of my old crush and drool for a short moment.

So yeah, this was my rage post, cuz I feel like expressing all this desire to hit both guys on the freaking crotch until they get on ther knees.

Ohh yeah, my current plan to go out clubbing and hit on hot amazing guys, has also fail...I went to like 3 different clubs and NOTHING!!! My gay friend obviously took me to gay clubs, but he started to feel "sick" and had to go back home. Didn't even get a chance to dance for more than 2 minutes....

Gio doesn't know if to cry or laugh about her current situation..for now, I am going to wash my make-up, put my pjs, declared failure at life and go to sleep.